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[Enjin Archive] Feminine Thread
Started by [E] GACKT
Is it sad that many of Holy's points have no application to me whatsoever?
I hate football, I'd rather run a six mile Cross Country practice than watch a Game of Football. I still hate the advantages girls have over us guys, they get free stuff, they constantly have BF's, they Get tons of respect, ecetera. I love all, but no one loves me? I personally hate seeing happy couples everywhere, it just reminds me of the fact that no one else loves me enough to be my GF, of course I'm nice to everyone, I just don't get why all the troubble makers get all the attention, I wonder what would happen if I suddenly turned into the Cruel Ice hearted person I am deep down inside? <
My Self Esteem is very low right now. But yes I'm single and unhappy <object class="emojione" data="https://resources.enjin.com/1489581540/themes/core/images/emojione/svg/2639.svg?0" type="image/svg+xml" standby=":(">:(</object>
My Self Esteem is very low right now. But yes I'm single and unhappy <object class="emojione" data="https://resources.enjin.com/1489581540/themes/core/images/emojione/svg/2639.svg?0" type="image/svg+xml" standby=":(">:(</object>
quinne9009 wrote:
<object class="emojione" data="https://resources.enjin.com/1489581540/themes/core/images/emojione/svg/1f622.svg?0" type="image/svg+xml" standby=":cry:">:cry:</object>
Love yourself before you can expect somebody else to love you.
I do love myself it's just no one appreciates me that much.
HolySm0kes wrote:
Best Things About Being a Guy
-All your orgasms are real.
-You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
-You can kill your own food.
-You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.
-Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
-Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.
-You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
-Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers!!
-Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
-All your orgasms are real.
-You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
-You can kill your own food.
-You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.
-Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
-Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.
-You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
-Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers!!
-Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
-LOL, you think we fake it all the time? Not our fault if the dolt we're with has NO IDEA what he's doing, at that point it's just "URGH GET OFF ME"
-I leave my real bed unmade a lot, so I NEVER make the hotel ones XD
-I know how to kill my own food, good sir. I can catch and gut my own fishies <object class="emojione" data="https://resources.enjin.com/1489581540/themes/core/images/emojione/svg/1f600.svg?0" type="image/svg+xml" standby=":d">:d</object>
-Takes me 20 minutes instead of an hour to get ready
-Excuse me, we get 5 for $20.
-I'm the one often TELLING the dirty joke >_>
-Your (boys in general) boner says differently.
-Why would you compare it to bridal showers? That's the boring gift part. Bachelorette parties are where the drinks and fun gag gift sex toy lollipops come out.
-Girls watch porn too
XD
HolySm0kes wrote:
Best Things About Being a Guy
-Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
-Movie nudity is virtually always female.
-You know stuff about tanks.
-A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
-Monday Night Football
-You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
-Your bathroom lines are 80 percent shorter.
-Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight.
-Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
-When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.
-Your ass is never a factor in job interviews.
-All your orgasms are real.
-A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex.
-Guys in hockey masks don't attack you (unless you smash 'em into the boards).
-You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
-You understand why Stripes is funny.
-You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
-Your last name stays put.
-You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
-When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
-You can kill your own food.
-The garage is all yours.
-You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
-You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
-You never have to clean a toilet.
-You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.
-Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
-Wedding plans take care of themselves.
-If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
-Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
-The National College Cheerleading Championship.
-You don't have to shave below your neck.
-None of your coworkers have the power to make you cry.
-You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.
-If you're 34 and single, nobody notices.
-You can write your name in the snow.
-You can get into a non-trivial pissing contest.
-Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.
-Chocolate is just another snack.
-You can be president. ( In this lifetime).
-You can quietly enjoy a care ride from the passenger's seat.
-Flowers fix everything.
-You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
-You get to think about sex 90 percent of your waking hours.
-You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
-Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
-You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
-You can say anything ("Wow, do my balls hurt!") and not worry about what people will think..
-Michael Bolton doesn't exist in your universe.
-Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.
-You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
-You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming by.
-You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
-Car mechanics tell you the truth.
-You don't give a rat's ass if anyone notices your new haircut.
-You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking he must be mad at me.
-The world is your urinal.
-You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover's about to leave you.
-You get to jump and slap stuff.
-One mood, all the time!
-You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
-You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy
-You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
-You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you're wearing.
-Same work.....more pay!
-Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
-You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
-Wedding dress: $2,000; Tuxedo rental: $75.
-You don't care if someone's talking behind your back.
-With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
-You don't mooch off others' desserts.
-If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
-The remote control is yours and yours alone.
-People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
-ESPN's SportCenter.
-You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
-Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers!!
-You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
-You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
-You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
-If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your other friend you've changed.
-Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
-You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*ck it."
-If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies.
-Princess Di's death was just another obituary.
-The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
-You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.
-You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
-If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer or throw it across the wall.
-New shoes don't blister, cut, and mangle your feet.
-Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
-You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
-Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"
-Baywatch
-There's always a game on somewhere.
-Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
-Movie nudity is virtually always female.
-You know stuff about tanks.
-A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
-Monday Night Football
-You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
-Your bathroom lines are 80 percent shorter.
-Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight.
-Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
-When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.
-Your ass is never a factor in job interviews.
-All your orgasms are real.
-A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex.
-Guys in hockey masks don't attack you (unless you smash 'em into the boards).
-You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
-You understand why Stripes is funny.
-You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
-Your last name stays put.
-You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
-When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
-You can kill your own food.
-The garage is all yours.
-You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
-You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
-You never have to clean a toilet.
-You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.
-Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
-Wedding plans take care of themselves.
-If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
-Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
-The National College Cheerleading Championship.
-You don't have to shave below your neck.
-None of your coworkers have the power to make you cry.
-You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.
-If you're 34 and single, nobody notices.
-You can write your name in the snow.
-You can get into a non-trivial pissing contest.
-Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.
-Chocolate is just another snack.
-You can be president. ( In this lifetime).
-You can quietly enjoy a care ride from the passenger's seat.
-Flowers fix everything.
-You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
-You get to think about sex 90 percent of your waking hours.
-You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
-Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
-You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
-You can say anything ("Wow, do my balls hurt!") and not worry about what people will think..
-Michael Bolton doesn't exist in your universe.
-Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.
-You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
-You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming by.
-You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
-Car mechanics tell you the truth.
-You don't give a rat's ass if anyone notices your new haircut.
-You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking he must be mad at me.
-The world is your urinal.
-You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover's about to leave you.
-You get to jump and slap stuff.
-One mood, all the time!
-You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
-You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy
-You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
-You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you're wearing.
-Same work.....more pay!
-Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
-You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
-Wedding dress: $2,000; Tuxedo rental: $75.
-You don't care if someone's talking behind your back.
-With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
-You don't mooch off others' desserts.
-If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
-The remote control is yours and yours alone.
-People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
-ESPN's SportCenter.
-You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
-Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers!!
-You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
-You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
-You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
-If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your other friend you've changed.
-Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
-You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*ck it."
-If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies.
-Princess Di's death was just another obituary.
-The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
-You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.
-You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
-If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer or throw it across the wall.
-New shoes don't blister, cut, and mangle your feet.
-Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
-You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
-Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"
-Baywatch
-There's always a game on somewhere.
Couldnt be arsed to read.
Go stick it on your male thread, not the feminine one you big girl. Since that male thread is so popular.... >_> lol
And yet no one pays attention to my post <object class="emojione" data="https://resources.enjin.com/1489581540/themes/core/images/emojione/svg/2639.svg?0" type="image/svg+xml" standby=":(">:(</object> why me?
le long posts...
Stops reading.
HOW ABOUT UNICORN GENDER!!! :3
lol jokes.
Stops reading.
HOW ABOUT UNICORN GENDER!!! :3
lol jokes.
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Enjin Archive
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SGT Fenix wrote:
erm, so yah, a friend of mine yesterday when we were hanging out said she couldnt find her money in her bra, she has pretty big ones, and wanted me to help her in all seriousness, err find it? awkward much? Does she like me or do you think she is just screwing with me? -w-
MattGehringツ wrote:
Is it sad that many of Holy's points have no application to me whatsoever?
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